"Pigeons" part one

This is a semi-true story, like a lot of my work. It happened a couple years ago, when I lived in a apartment in Lexington that had a unique sort of.... problem. 
Pigeons. Everywhere. 
No other apartments in the area had them like this place. They were lousy with pigeons. They had more pigeons than Madonna has had lapses in judgement. 
This is a continuing story about pigeons, and the lengths one man will go to get rid of them.